I have to say, it was good while it lasted. For roughly 8 months I’ve carted the good (and not-so-good) people of Sydney around in comfort and style and in return, they rewarded my efforts by holding back their urge to spew until they had exited my vehicle. Unfortunately, my vomit virgin cherry has been popped!

It was a damp Friday in Sydney and I’d done a few hours of driving in the afternoon before heading home for some r & r. Sufficiently recuperated from my afternoon shift, I headed back out for a few hours of the evening / night shift I usually do on the weekends. I ended up in Haberfield picking up a young lady and a couple of her male friends from a house party. Sufficiently tanked up on cheap pre-drinks they were headed to the city to continue their night. They were a nice bunch – young and drunk but still mindful of their manners and made the effort to make some pleasant small talk with me before going back to chatting amongst themselves.

As we got close to the city the rain started again and the group asked if I could stop quickly next to World Square so they could duck under the cover of the canopy. They’d been a good bunch so I thought I’d help them out. They jumped out quickly and ran for cover with the rain getting heavy. As the last one of them closed the door and ran, I noticed a phone on the back seat. I was close to home and it was almost midnight so I thought I’d call it a night, contact the rider through the app, and arrange to get the phone back to her. As I pulled away a trip request came through. It was just around the corner and it was a 1.5x surge too. Screw it! I’ll just do one more trip and head home after that.

So I pull up on Pitt Street and wait for Patrick. He arrives and has some mates with him. Everyone seems fine, just heading home to Waterloo after a few drinks at a karaoke bar. This is perfect! A nice little 1.5x surge trip to Waterloo. Easy money and not far from home. I can see the finish line and the cup of tea waiting for me. I’ll be home in no time!

We drive up Pitt Street and turn right onto Bathurst Street. Probably 100 metres at best. Suddenly, the quiet Chinese guy beside me makes a strange sound. It’s like a half cough / half sneeze type of thing. I look over and he’s got his hands over his mouth and his cheeks puffed out. Oh no! This is it! It’s finally happened!

“What are you doing?!” I shout at him. Of course he can’t reply due to the mouth full of vomit. “Are you getting sick?” I ask, hoping that somehow the obvious wasn’t actually happening! “Don’t f***ing do it in my car idiot!”. I’m instantly filled with rage! Under normal circumstances I’d feel sorry for the guy but I just wanted to kill him!

So traffic is still moving at this point and I need to turn right onto Elizabeth Street. I had to keep moving. I let down the passenger side window and order him to vomit outside the car. He hesitates for a split second but to me it seemed like an hour, so I shove his head out the passenger window as we are making the turn onto Elizabeth Street! There I am, making a turn, shoving a Chinese guys head out the window with my left hand, he’s vomiting down the outside of my car, and I catch a glimpse of a lady driving the car next to me looking at this in equal amounts of shock and disgust! What a way to end my night!

So it’s midnight on a Friday and despite my best efforts there’s vomit on the floor, the seat, the dash and the inside and outside of my passenger door. Thankfully the bulk is on the outside but there’s enough on the inside to warrant a steam clean job. Luckily there’s a 24 hour car wash in Alexandria called Gold Car Wash & Cafe, so I make my way over there with all the windows rolled down! About 45 minutes later my car is as good as new and I’m sure to apologetically thank the guys for their work as I couldn’t have done it myself without adding to the vomiting myself.

Next time I’ll ignore the urge to do ‘just one more job’ before going home.